Bigger

YG: When I get bigger I can have that yellow drink?

Mom: Yes

YG: I can't wait to be bigger and then you'll be smaller. I'm going to get bigger and bigger and you and daddy are going to get smaller.

Mom: I wish...

Sofia the first

(Playing with a mermaid dress up doll)

YG: Let's pretend the mermaid is Sofia!

Mom: Okay! If Sofia was a mermaid what would she wear?

YG: This purple tail.

Mom: Okay and what shells?

YG: Sofia doesn't have boobies so she can't wear shells!

Hair

YG: The guy with the white shirt doesn't have enough hair. See that guy over there? He doesn't have hair either.

Mom: (embarrassed!)

Two?

YG: See that up there? That's my name. It has two Ls in it. That means I can have two books tonight.

Sleep problems

YG: I can't sleep momma.
Mom: Why not?
YG: My whale blankie is blue. But my favorite color is pink and purple. So I can't sleep because my blankie is not pink or purple.

Cinderella

YG: Cinderella has to go to the bathroom.

Mom: Okay.

YG: I'm Cinderella.

Peace

YG: I want peace! Be quiet!

Ariel

YG: I don't want to watch Ariel anymore because her dad makes bad choices. Okay?

YG: When I say no, you have to just just just just just just talk to me. You have to listen and talk to me. Okay?

Meltdown

(Crying in her bed after mommy taking away her baby dolls)

YG: You hurt my feelings because you took my babies away! I'm sad! You aren't going to have any friends because you're not a good girl cause you take things!

New babies

(On her toy phone)

YG: Hi, is Cinderella there? Hi Cinderella. Can you please get me new babies? I wasn't being a good listener and they took them away from me. So can you get me new ones?

Eating

YG: Do I need to eat this all?
Mom: Yes.
YG: Duh...
Mom: Where did you learn that?
YG: You

...

Seriously?

YG: You can't sing, mommy! You're not a princess!

Dogs

YG: I love dogs! They make me fart!! Hahaha

Mmmm!

(Eating dinner?

YG: Mmmm, it's yums in my tums!

Moon

YG: Hey moon! You wanna come to the circus with us? Can you?

Toilet talk

(sitting on the potty)
YG: I would be so sad if you flushed me down the potty with all the poopies and peepee because that would be disgusting.

Annoying

YG: Gramma, I'm going to annoy you.

Fresh

YG: I'm not cool, I'm fresh!

Balls

YG: Daddy, can I see your balls?

(Mommy and daddy's jaws drop.)

Mommy: YG, lets not say things like that. Those are private parts and we don't share them.

YG: Can I see mommy's balls?

(Oh dear....)

Train play

YG: You be the the caboose and I'll be the train. Chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo! Alldaboard!

Towel?

Mommy: Can you please go upstairs and get a beach towel for swimming lessons?
YG: A beach towel?
Mommy: Yes, please.
YG: (holding her arms up in confusion) You mean a swimming lessons towel, not a beach towel!

Bigger

YG: When I grow up to be a big girl just like a good girl I will do what big girls do.

Bed time

Mommy: Can I sing your songs tonight?
YG: No
Mommy: I love singing your songs.
YG: How about you just plum? (aka hum).

Telling Me to Relax

Mommy: Go get that container.
YG: It's in my room? You wanna bet?
Mommy: Well get it.
YG: Relax! I'm getting it

Being fresh

(YG was being fresh and talking back. She was brought up to her room for a break. Afterward in her room...)

YG: (in sobs) I had to take a break and you let me cry!

Mommy: You were being fresh so you needed to take a break.

YG: but you scared me!

After the break was done:

YG: I'm so sorry mommy I had to take a break!

Car

(Riding in the car home)

YG: Mommy, I'm all done.

Mommy: With??

YG: The car. Lets get home.

Sambucca?

(YG had some jelly beans as a special treat)

YG: Mom, I smell Sambucca (holding a black jelly bean)
YG: I taste Sambucca! (eating said black jelly bean)
Mom: Yes, black jelly beans taste like licorice just like Sambucca
YG: Yum! I love them and Sambucca!
Mom: (sighs embarassed her 3 year old knows what Sambucca is, smells like, and tastes like)

Out

YG: Come on, lets go out!

Mommy: Where are we going?

YG:  To Old MacDonald had a farm, E I E I O.

Books

(YG piles up 50+ books next to mommy)

Mommy: You are going to put those all back, right?
YG: No.
Mommy: Then who is?
YG: You are (while pointing to me and then walking away)

Good girl

Mommy: You were so good in class! The only one who was listening so well.

YG: So what do I get to have?

Mommy: You're supposed to be a good listener!

YG: bummer

Potty talk

Sitting on the potty:

YG: I'm going peepee and poopy on the potty like a big kid. I'm a big kid like you. Mommy is a big kid. Daddy is a big kid. I'm a big kid. I can reach everything! I can reach the light. I can reach the counter. I can reach everything I need. I can see the pictures too. I love you mommy. Can I have some privacy?

Love

YG: Mommy I love you most!

Mommy: I love you most!

YG: I love you to the moon and back!

Mommy: No I do!

YG: I love you a google!

Mommy: I love you a google!

YG: I love you more! I win!

Dinner convos

YG: The baby cucumber ran away and the mommy and daddy are looking for it cause he's hungry and the baby cucumber is sad because he is and the mommy and daddy cucumber are far away....

Music together

YG: Mommy, I'll play the drum and you play the violin.
(Starts banging on my butt)
Mommy: You just want to hit my butt.
YG: (fits of giggles)

Preschool Gossip

Preschool gossip are the stories I get after school every day. Enjoy!

Mommy: How was your day at school?
YG: Max bit me, Gus pushed me, Cooper did poopies in his pants, and I woke up Charlotte from nap.

Can I say...?

YG: mom, can I say dammit?
Mommy: no
YG: can I say shit?
Mommy: no
YG: can I say crap?
Mommy: not a nice word for pretty little girls.
YG: poop! (And the giggling commences)

Hair

(looking in the mirror)

YG: My hair is so long! I'm going to be like Rapunzel! I am a princess!

Balls

(Let's set the scene.)

Daddy is just about to get in the shower and YG needs to give him a hug and kiss goodnight. Unbeknownst to me and YG daddy was already naked and ready for the shower. And he was bending over as we walked in. YG strains her neck.

YG: Daddy, what are those?
Daddy: Daddy's balls.
YG: I want balls!! Can I have balls?!

Good Girl

Yellow girl: Mommy, you're being a good girl at the store so you get to have a sticker.

Preschool Gossip

Preschool gossip are the stories I get after school every day. Enjoy!

Mommy: How was your day today?
YG: Good.
Mommy: Did you play outside?
YG: Yeah we played in the sandbox.
Mommy: Oh cool was it fun?
YG: There was monsters chasing us!
Mommy: Oh no! Why were the monsters chasing you?
YG: No it was one monster!
Mommy: Who was he chasing?
YG: Me and Gavin!
Mommy: Oh no! What kind of monster was he?
YG: He was a blue Aladdin monster!
Mommy: Yikes! What did he want?
YG: He was chasing us because he wanted some milk!
Mommy: Oh no and you didn't have any?
YG: No
Mommy: So what did you do?
YG: Me and Gavin hid under the slide!
Mommy: Oh good so you were safe?
YG: Yeah and Gavin chased him away. So I need to go back to school because I don't want the monster to be home! 
Mommy: Oh I see, you need Gavin to save you?
YG: I stamped on bags today, mom!

Bathroom Talk

Yellow Girl: Mom, can I say fuck in the bathroom?
Mom: No!

Colors

Mom: What is your favorite color?
Yellow girl: Yellow. White. Yellow white. Can I have a cookie?

Imaginary convos

YG: (yells) Mr. Grinch! Want some macaroni?
Mommy: Who are you talking to? 
YG: Mr. Grinch is over there. Oh, he ran away.
(I smile and give her a few kisses.)
YG: Don't give me kisses! Only 1 kiss...

Preschool Gossip

Preschool gossip are the stories I get after school every day. Enjoy!

Mommy: How was school today?
YG: Alex hit me with the ball and he had to have a break. But I got to have pink candy to feel better. Miss Brittany told me to go to the potty if I had to go poopies, so I did. Gavin went home with Miss Brittany. I don't know why. Can I have hot cocoa with marshmellows? First you give me hot cocoa and then I'll give you hugs and kisses. Alright mom? I left my barrettes under my cot. Aw man!

Convos with Auntie

YG: Good I played with Gavin and he gets a sticker cause he didn't go potty on his cot..he usually does so I can't believe it!! Can you turn Pink up louder now please we can talk when we get to Target.
Auntie: We're going to Target?
YG:  Yeah auntie we always do, you need new underwears and nail polish!! (Dies laughing)

A few minutes later..

YG: Green means go auntie geez you're a slow poke..